After a long while my close friend had gone, I finally realize that it was the truth… I felt like it was not happening at all, the same like I felt like Michael Jackson’s death was not true. It was unbelievable.
Ct has been the most influential friend I’ve ever have, I’ve ever been with. I can still remember when me, Radhi and Ct were together strolling around KL in my car, when we stopped at one KFC. We talked about how life was, how life is, and how life would be. The three of us has been so close since that night, that we spent the whole day together.
In my eyes when I look at Ct that night, I saw a very determined person yet very fragile. She can be the soaring lioness in the forest yet can be as fragile and gentle as a swan in the lake. That is how Ct was.
I can boldly say that without her, I would not complete my LLB. She has been the backbone of mine since Najib left my life, bits by bits. I thought I could endure the feeling of losing a best friend but my thought was wrong. There came Ct and Radhi to comfort me in all means. Ct was always there when I need her, despite her busy schedule as the senior partner.
Being a senior partner, losing her 5 years best friend to another, being the eldest in the family with parents to take care of; she was the strongest girl I’ve ever met. Being in a situation where datelines, exams, different kind of colleagues as our daily bread, she managed to face everything. Even the strongest girl you see in the faculty can fall with just one situation that occurs in her life, what more three or four chains in a row.
She was a very dedicated person in everything she does. She treasure friendship so much that she would never hurt her friends. Even if she did, it was not her intention at all. She's a very petite girl with full of smiles on her face and very spiritual indeed. One would never thought that this small girl has been through a lot. Her favourite dish to cook that she would call me for a dine, was anything that goes with sup. Sup ayam, sup sayur etc. And we made a whole lot of begedil with sup ayam and had been eating them with a heavenly feeling. I miss her so...
She told me that she would always want to join the ‘Pegawai Tadbir Diplomatic’ but took AG Chambers as the starting point. She dreamt for a new car when she ever start her first job. And, alas, she got all that and went away with all those too...
Her death was a tragic to me. It happened so quick. At around 12.50pm that Friday, I had the urge to call her to ask her a favour but instead I called Kak Linda for the favour. A great force has been telling me that she was into something but at that time, I couldn't read what my spirit has been saying. A call around 6pm shook my senses when Shida called me and told me the news. I can't help but cry in the middle of pasar ramadhan. Everyone of my family was so sad because Ct is always in between their ears as I have always talked about her. Well, she was my close friend though, the whole two semesters of LLB...
I miss when we forced each other to study, because we know we were lazy and being left behind in terms of the grades. Thanks to Radhi, he would always be in front of us in tests. Lol. I miss when we had to wait for Radhi (who does not know how to time himself) for our meetings and study groups. I miss when three of us would treat ourselves with 'omelette oyster' at Subang. It was so 'lepak' for us. A lot of things I've spent time together with Ct but one thing for sure, she was an angel...
I would always miss you Ct. Your absence is still a dream to me...
I love you.
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