About a Pants~

There’s this one pants I had,
It was supposed to be worn when I go to the theme park with my best friend;
But til now, it is not yet being done,
So I’d just wear it in the house;
Cos I wouldn’t wanna wear that kind of pants in front of people,
It’ll make me feel unsure;
When it is time to clean it,
Someone else will do it;
But it came back to me not the way it used to be,
And I told myself not to go to the laundry.

One day someone told me that I left my pants on the mattress,
Then I remember I did not own it and left there for ages;
Now I am thinking of what to do with the pants,
Should I throw it or keep it safe in hands?
It is kinda weary,
But I like to wear it;
Since I can’t decide it for me,
Please do it for me.

p/s: Someone is supposed to teach me how to rhyme. But it ended up me sounding like I'm in a primary school. (don't laugh!)

Tribute to Another Part of Me~

This is me~

This is my best friend. Dia amat rajin baca buku. (as if). Hehe.

**********************

The first time I saw her was when I enrolled myself into UiTM for Pre-Law course. She was my roomate in Kenanga 2, room (i forgot).

There she was, puffing for air to breathe as she had to climb the staircase to level 3 (i think), together with her mother and also her pink polkadots bag (which took my attention so much). I didn't talk much to her as she was busy with her stuff.

I never knew the girl in front of me that moment would be my everlasting friend. We were in different courses. I read law and she did science (until now I can't remember her exact course). We started chatting between us in the room as my other friend, was always on her move.

We developed the same interests, the same view (especially about life), but thankfully, not the same type of guy. Hehe. We found out that our principals in life are almost the same, I can say, all the same. We view things very different from other girls that we've known.

There she was, my roomate for just two semesters and we started to be apart.

Yet, we became even closer.

I can still remember, she will always be there for me when I was not okay. It was kind of selfish of me that I went for her only when I was feeling so low. When I was not, I was with my boyfriend all the time. Yet, she never refused me. I knew from that moment, I knew she will always be there for me, whenever, whatever. She is my true friend...

I can still remember when we always splurged ourselves with Nasi Lemak Jati whenever we were all stressed out due to the final examinations. And after that, I'd drove her and me myself through the drive-thru for our fav McD's Strawberry Milkshake!! We even dated at Tasik Shah Alam with those ice-creams we bought at the park! (I miss that sooo much...)

I can still remember that I will always tell her that my main problem in life is to find the right guy for me. And she will always be there to listen to all my boring stories about guys and how they treated me. Even til now. And I just wish that there is a duplicate of her, who is a guy. She is too perfect for me!

I can still remember, when we even romantically dated together to see the fireworks competitions at Putrajaya, all of them (except for one team that I went with Najib). It was soooo lovely that I wish we were an item (hehehe. remember babe I told you that?). But of course, we will never be, cos she don't have one thing that I want. :-p

I can still remember that she came all the way from college to the workshop when I need some cash to pay for my old junk car that broke down. And she was also there when my old junk broke down in the middle of the fast-lane-road! She's my hero!

I can still remember when I cried so bad after she finished her diploma course, knowing I was gonna miss her so much. But then, she got enrolled herself to UiTM again for her degree. I knew we were meant to be together.

I can still remember when she had to leave, that I have no power to stop her, even if I do, I would never stop her from chasing her dreams... I knew I had to let her go. It was soooo hard for me, that I cried most of the time as I miss her soooo much. I felt like I couldn't cope with my studies, furthermore that was the time when both of my very loved ones had to go - her and Najib.

Life was hard for me...

But now, I'm beginning to face the reality. There are people that I have to let go. But for sure, I will never let her go away from my life. She can be not within my eyesight but she will never be beyond my mind, my heart.

She will never be apart from my life...

And tomorrow, is her birthday. It's a pity that I can't celebrate with her, there may be some other time. :-)

Babe, Happy Dearest Birthday to You!!! I love you so so so so so damn much! You even made me felt like wanting to be a lesbian sometime when guys were not good enough for me. Hehe. I love u!!!

About Today~

As I was driving my car on the busy Friday roads during peak hours of children going home from school, the employed Muslim men busy rushing their ways to get home early for the Friday prayers, I came to a T-junction where there were sooo many cars queued up to take their turning.

The hardest turning was the turning to the right.

When there is a traffic jam in Perlis, that's what we call unbelievable! That was what happened during lunch time just now after I picked up my brothers and sisters from school. Too much cars had to wait for just a simple small junction.

Until one car stopped.

It was an old junk that stopped and gave ways to the traffic from the left to turn to their right. And when I passed by, it was a very old car driven by an old man. What a considerate person he is.

I can imagine. Just by pressing your break and take your time for just 5 minutes, you make other people's life easier! Wayyyyy easier!

But I can't imagine this kind of situation would happen in Kuala Lumpur.

You'll be amazed to meet these kind of people living in KL. All they know is their own pleasure. They will park their car at the roadside and take their own leisure time to wait for someone. Or even at the junction, they won't even give ways for the cars that is desperately need to get out from a corner; that have waited there for more than 30 minutes.

Life in KL is way different than in Perlis. People are more inconsiderate back then in KL. All they think is money. I wonder if they have too much money, do they even know how to spend it?

All I can see is they buy luxurious cars, houses, assets, assets and more assets. Its a pity that they don't use that to go out from Malaysia and see what is there outside of the box. If I have the opportunity, I'd use that to go all over the world to see the different kinds of people and their culture.

I just love culture. It is what makes each and every country, different.

Culture also shows what kind of person you are.

Its a pity that people tend to like the way I am and didn't realise that why I am today and the reason I am me is because of the culture.

Nah, you can't see any kind of culture in KL except of loitering, money-spending and telling the world how rich they are and obviously how small their brains are. The more snobbish you are, the smaller your brains are.

I will always like to use this principal: When you're good, people will know you're good. You don't have to tell the world that you are good.

So, why the fuss of telling the whole world that you earn a lot of cash? Be humble, please!

And of course, you won't find these kind of people (whom wanna tell the whole world that they are rich) in Perlis.

All of us are the same.

The Long Run~

When I browsed through my friends' blogs, I knew this kind of feeling will occur: memories.

Athirah had put pictures of her firmates hanging out at Sunway and I wish Sunway is next to my house. Hehe. (I can't actually sleep now so I'm going to start writing nonsense here). I miss school soooo much. Starting a new life; the working life, is sooo boring. I'm not trying to say that I don't like my work. It's just that I miss all the fun that we've been through when we were students. I guess the thing that everybody has been saying is true after all - student life is the best phase of life. Now I have to think of liabilities. I have a car to pay and also a house.

You see, when you're in the law firm, all you have to do is to fix things. I guess Radhi would love his job so much as he said that he's a fixer! (Yela tu... Hahaha!). What my granpa said is correct after all. Being a lawyer is boring when all you see is people with problems. If they don't have problems, they won't come and see you.

But I guess, its nothing to brag about. Life is nothing without problems.

What I've learnt so far doing my unoffical chambering days are; well firstly, of course there're loads of work which will never ends (unless your firm is going to the drain). The best part is when I have to call other lawyers from other firms to ask about what am I suppose to do (especially the procedures) and what makes it interesting is that they never fail to attend to you and tell you the secret behind everything (even how to counter-argue them!). Cool eh? It is cool. And also the Court's staff, they are very very helpful and tak garang langsung.

Remember Puan Hajran said we have to deal with difficult clients? Well, I did. Muka poyo yang amat tu tak payah cakap la. Nada suara yang amat bongkak tu tak payah cakap la. Tapi, ada cara macam mana nak handle them and my granpa told me how and even showed me how. It was amazing. Trus diorg2 ni kasi business card and siap ckp kalo ade pape, just call them and they'll give discount rates of promotions etc. Heh. Its all about experience, right?

I don't know what my friends in any law firms in KL been doing throughout their chambering days til now but it is fun learning here. :-)

But, apart of learning, of course, it is boring here...

No friends to hang out here. Just plainly about family, family and family.

I'm not saying that I don't have friends here back then in my hometown. It's just that when you're into your work, you tend to annoy easily with people who doesn't think the same level as you are. This may sound like a discrimination but I guess I just can't bear with it. This is why, the emptiness in me came rushing and revealing it to the whole world.

I really really miss my Fadia now. Johor and Perlis is damn far. At least 12 hours journey by road. Luckily the power of virtual world keeps us alive in some way. I really wish we're not this far. I hope you can be there at my convocation this coming November, I guess. Or you're going to stress yourself to come to Perlis when I get myself called to the Bar. So, better choose! :-)

Talking about called to the Bar, I onced made Najib promised me that he'll come when I'll be called to the Bar eventhough he is there in Ireland. But then, it seems like it won't be like that anymore. There's no point of him wasting his time and money to just come and be there for my special occasion in Perlis. There are things that is not worth to do. I miss him though.

But then, things are different now...

Well, it is true what Fauzi told me months before. My life changes totally bits by bits when I start working (eventhough I am not officially employed) tapi buat keje lebih banyak dari pekerja. I see things differently now. So different. No more tiny-tiny, nonsense-nonsense stuff I used to do when was in law school. Part of me misses the fun back then, but part of me enjoys my new life, which I'm beginning to adapt bits by bits and loving it every moment (except part ngantuk gile after lunch, rasa nk tido je dlm office mcm slalu buat dkt klas) hehe...

I miss Radhi yang suka mencabar kesabaran setiap org di dalam klas, I miss CT yang berlaser-laser dgn firmatesnya, I miss Akmal yg penuh dgn idea-idea ntah mana dia dpt (boleh jadi Azwan Ali 2. hehe..), I miss Ana yang sentiasa sabar je dgn firmatesnya yg pemalas yg amat, I miss Che Nad dan penutup telinganya yg digunakan olehnya utk terbang bebas, I miss Lily dgn gayanya yg original, I miss Kak Linda and her stories of her happy family especially Adam, I miss Shida yg dgn gelak besarnya, I miss Athirah di hujung sana yg selalu kurang sabar dgn ujian-ujian kesabaran yg ditest oleh Sang Radhi, I miss Abg Rusnan yg sentiasa geleng kepala tgk gelagat rakan-rakan kelasnya yg mmg confirm tak matang, ohhh!!!! I miss the part when semua org menanam harapan yg tinggi agar menu breakfast di luar pintu klas akan berubah instead of nasi goreng, nasi goreng, nasi goreng. I miss everything!! And I miss the cheer steps dgn lagu Korea tu, dgn letihnya berlatih tak reti-reti and last-last semua berterabur jgk. Hehe. I miss semua org gentar dgn kehadiran tokwan Rajes. I miss da sarcasm of everyone bila stress melanda diri. I miss the whole class!!!

Wahhh.... Rindu bangat sama korang!!!!

I wanna see you guys growing up like me, and see the difference nanti during our convocation.

Life is so different now. I knew I'm gonna change and be a different person when I get back home. I knew the kind of life and the kind of people that used to amaze me would change. And so does my frog prince...

To my frog prince, (if you ever read this), thanks for being part of my life, being the one who keep me in one piece whenever I fall into pieces, thanks for making my life felt so alive eventhough my soul and my body is not intact, thanks for always wanna at least make me happy eventhough you didn't even know that you're making me felt that way, thanks for all the advises, thanks for the things that you showed that make me realise that you are not the one. I cherish every moment being with you. I thought you were the one but I guess you showed me the otherwise...

I love you...

But that was the past.

The present: I know I've found him but I'm taking my own sweet time. He makes me proud of being what I am, regardless of how I look like, what I look like. He make me feel good. He teaches me how to be a lady (not physically but mentally - an iron lady). He makes me feel like there's no one to dissapoint me just because of my ambitious dreams. He makes me see the other side of the world. He makes me learn more about things that I couldn't learn if not because of him. He makes me sooo fragile (cos I am only fragile to my loved ones). He makes me feel I'm worth it. He makes me realise that it's such a lost that other guys didn't see what I have and what I got. He makes me feel like I don't need a guy (but I know I do). He makes me feel like I'm 35.

And I love him for that...

So much...

That I am prepared for the worst.

p/s: I miss his melancholic voice when he sang songs. He touches my heart so easily...

Officially, Unofficial~

Today, I'm officially doing my unofficial read in chambers.

Kinda boring though. Tapi nasib baik office buruk tokwan ni ada internet.

At least...

The Long Awaited Post~

I am back home now. Feeling bored and lonely. I miss KL and Shah Alam sooooo much. How I wish I'm there right now. But, reality keeps punching me back. I have to do my chambering here.

Well, I managed to do things that I wanted to do before I came back to Perlis; which are:

1. Went to Masai, Johor just to meet my true friend, Fadia. We had loads of FUNNNN!!! I feel like settling down there! :-) Thanks for the trip!
   
2. Had a meal at Old Town Kopitiam with Fauzi.
3. Went to Zoo Negara with Ronald.
4. Went to IKEA with Ronald.
5. Indulge myself with ice-cream and loved ones.
6. Fall in love.

Now I am at home, missing everybody back in KL and Shah Alam and Johor. Chambering is not fun when having the thought that I can't physically meet my friends here. I think I'm gonna ask for a lot of days off from work so that I can go to KL. Besides, all I have to do is to redeem back for the days that I do not go to work.

I can't write smoothly as I don't know how to express my loneliness.

I feel bad...