The Long Run~

When I browsed through my friends' blogs, I knew this kind of feeling will occur: memories.

Athirah had put pictures of her firmates hanging out at Sunway and I wish Sunway is next to my house. Hehe. (I can't actually sleep now so I'm going to start writing nonsense here). I miss school soooo much. Starting a new life; the working life, is sooo boring. I'm not trying to say that I don't like my work. It's just that I miss all the fun that we've been through when we were students. I guess the thing that everybody has been saying is true after all - student life is the best phase of life. Now I have to think of liabilities. I have a car to pay and also a house.

You see, when you're in the law firm, all you have to do is to fix things. I guess Radhi would love his job so much as he said that he's a fixer! (Yela tu... Hahaha!). What my granpa said is correct after all. Being a lawyer is boring when all you see is people with problems. If they don't have problems, they won't come and see you.

But I guess, its nothing to brag about. Life is nothing without problems.

What I've learnt so far doing my unoffical chambering days are; well firstly, of course there're loads of work which will never ends (unless your firm is going to the drain). The best part is when I have to call other lawyers from other firms to ask about what am I suppose to do (especially the procedures) and what makes it interesting is that they never fail to attend to you and tell you the secret behind everything (even how to counter-argue them!). Cool eh? It is cool. And also the Court's staff, they are very very helpful and tak garang langsung.

Remember Puan Hajran said we have to deal with difficult clients? Well, I did. Muka poyo yang amat tu tak payah cakap la. Nada suara yang amat bongkak tu tak payah cakap la. Tapi, ada cara macam mana nak handle them and my granpa told me how and even showed me how. It was amazing. Trus diorg2 ni kasi business card and siap ckp kalo ade pape, just call them and they'll give discount rates of promotions etc. Heh. Its all about experience, right?

I don't know what my friends in any law firms in KL been doing throughout their chambering days til now but it is fun learning here. :-)

But, apart of learning, of course, it is boring here...

No friends to hang out here. Just plainly about family, family and family.

I'm not saying that I don't have friends here back then in my hometown. It's just that when you're into your work, you tend to annoy easily with people who doesn't think the same level as you are. This may sound like a discrimination but I guess I just can't bear with it. This is why, the emptiness in me came rushing and revealing it to the whole world.

I really really miss my Fadia now. Johor and Perlis is damn far. At least 12 hours journey by road. Luckily the power of virtual world keeps us alive in some way. I really wish we're not this far. I hope you can be there at my convocation this coming November, I guess. Or you're going to stress yourself to come to Perlis when I get myself called to the Bar. So, better choose! :-)

Talking about called to the Bar, I onced made Najib promised me that he'll come when I'll be called to the Bar eventhough he is there in Ireland. But then, it seems like it won't be like that anymore. There's no point of him wasting his time and money to just come and be there for my special occasion in Perlis. There are things that is not worth to do. I miss him though.

But then, things are different now...

Well, it is true what Fauzi told me months before. My life changes totally bits by bits when I start working (eventhough I am not officially employed) tapi buat keje lebih banyak dari pekerja. I see things differently now. So different. No more tiny-tiny, nonsense-nonsense stuff I used to do when was in law school. Part of me misses the fun back then, but part of me enjoys my new life, which I'm beginning to adapt bits by bits and loving it every moment (except part ngantuk gile after lunch, rasa nk tido je dlm office mcm slalu buat dkt klas) hehe...

I miss Radhi yang suka mencabar kesabaran setiap org di dalam klas, I miss CT yang berlaser-laser dgn firmatesnya, I miss Akmal yg penuh dgn idea-idea ntah mana dia dpt (boleh jadi Azwan Ali 2. hehe..), I miss Ana yang sentiasa sabar je dgn firmatesnya yg pemalas yg amat, I miss Che Nad dan penutup telinganya yg digunakan olehnya utk terbang bebas, I miss Lily dgn gayanya yg original, I miss Kak Linda and her stories of her happy family especially Adam, I miss Shida yg dgn gelak besarnya, I miss Athirah di hujung sana yg selalu kurang sabar dgn ujian-ujian kesabaran yg ditest oleh Sang Radhi, I miss Abg Rusnan yg sentiasa geleng kepala tgk gelagat rakan-rakan kelasnya yg mmg confirm tak matang, ohhh!!!! I miss the part when semua org menanam harapan yg tinggi agar menu breakfast di luar pintu klas akan berubah instead of nasi goreng, nasi goreng, nasi goreng. I miss everything!! And I miss the cheer steps dgn lagu Korea tu, dgn letihnya berlatih tak reti-reti and last-last semua berterabur jgk. Hehe. I miss semua org gentar dgn kehadiran tokwan Rajes. I miss da sarcasm of everyone bila stress melanda diri. I miss the whole class!!!

Wahhh.... Rindu bangat sama korang!!!!

I wanna see you guys growing up like me, and see the difference nanti during our convocation.

Life is so different now. I knew I'm gonna change and be a different person when I get back home. I knew the kind of life and the kind of people that used to amaze me would change. And so does my frog prince...

To my frog prince, (if you ever read this), thanks for being part of my life, being the one who keep me in one piece whenever I fall into pieces, thanks for making my life felt so alive eventhough my soul and my body is not intact, thanks for always wanna at least make me happy eventhough you didn't even know that you're making me felt that way, thanks for all the advises, thanks for the things that you showed that make me realise that you are not the one. I cherish every moment being with you. I thought you were the one but I guess you showed me the otherwise...

I love you...

But that was the past.

The present: I know I've found him but I'm taking my own sweet time. He makes me proud of being what I am, regardless of how I look like, what I look like. He make me feel good. He teaches me how to be a lady (not physically but mentally - an iron lady). He makes me feel like there's no one to dissapoint me just because of my ambitious dreams. He makes me see the other side of the world. He makes me learn more about things that I couldn't learn if not because of him. He makes me sooo fragile (cos I am only fragile to my loved ones). He makes me feel I'm worth it. He makes me realise that it's such a lost that other guys didn't see what I have and what I got. He makes me feel like I don't need a guy (but I know I do). He makes me feel like I'm 35.

And I love him for that...

So much...

That I am prepared for the worst.

p/s: I miss his melancholic voice when he sang songs. He touches my heart so easily...