Appreciation

What makes me wonder is what kind of person that we would be when people around us that we mingle around now are actually not here with us. Have we ever think about these people; if they are to be other people than the people that we are NOW with; would we be different from what we are now? I always think about this when I started to not appreciate the people around me. The person that I always doubt most is my daddy.

It makes me wonder, if I have another daddy than my daddy, would I differ? And the answer is YES. I will not be the person like what I am now. Thus, everything that daddy did or said, NOW, I took them positively. It was kind a shame to people who said that I’m such a negative person in which I must think ALL things positively. The fact about me is that I think the otherwise of what people would rather think. That is not even a bad thing. My daddy who taught me to think the otherwise, when he always rebut everything that is said by me. Mama on the other hand taught me that as a human being, especially women, there is not much to gain if you are SOOOO ‘girl power’. At the end, the men are afraid of you, not due to your abilities but to the lack of confidence in themselves. If you’re telling me that you don’t mind living for the rest of your life without a man in your life; or you’d rather be a lesbian your whole life; then go ahead being an extreme ‘girl power’. As a conclusion, even though at times I might wish that I have another kind of parents, the fact is I would NEVER would want to replace my parents with others. And also my family. People may say that I have weird family or that I AM weird; the fact that I’m weird makes me untypical. I like the word typical because it explains our society. I would not explain more about this cos I don’t feel like to.

Appreciating each other is the key word in life. For me, the one of the reasons of broken homes are because they do not appreciate the presence of each other in the family. Blaming each other for self-made-mistakes is typical amongst the human being. Even I did those things. I’m keeping myself to keep reminding me that we are not perfect in many ways. Even though you preached here and there, there is no guarantee that you yourself would do as what you’ve preached for. But for me, that’s the mistake you make when you started to preach and make statements. There’s this one ‘friend’ of mine who once said that her/his family is now first in her/his list. It makes me disgust her/him more when statement made by her/him can ONLY applied to her/him. The fact that she/he couldn’t accept other people’s priority of having family in their first list, and only she/he that can have that kind of priority, just to show that she/he is such an angel, mocks me more. What on earth makes her thinks that only she/he is an exception to this and that other people must commit themselves to things nothing more important than their family? STUPID. Stupid is the only word that I can describe these kind of people politely. Bodoh kan? Just because you can attend that particular event and the others could not attend just because they prioritise their family more than you do, you want to show that you are better? Look yourself in the mirror, mate. And stop comparing yourself with people who LITERALLY prioritise their family more than you do. I’m just tired of your 2-faced mask that you always wear and that you successfully fooled the people who are such a fool to not to see behind the mask that you are wearing. I couldn’t care more if some people would want taste the pinch of what I’ve wrote cos nothing in this post that I mentioned names. So, I’ve learnt from my mistakes that some people are not worth it to be appreciated by me. Kan? J I’m not trying to show that I’m better, it is just me wanting to shout out the dissatisfaction of me towards certain people. You may have good grades in papers, but it doesn’t mean you’re good in heart. Agree?
Well, back to what I am I suppose to write.

I spent one night at my bestest friend's house yesterday night when suddenly when I was having a chat with his mom ,someone called his mom's handphone and she answered. It was actually Najib's brother's ex-girlfriend; called to say hi to his mom etc. It made me wonder how lucky Alil would be having Dalila as her girlfriend. The kind of girl who actually can lead him or rather together both of them face all the ups and downs in life. I discovered through stories that Dalila is actually the kind of person who appreciates the existence of poeple around her; even when the person is not around her nor related to her or was once related to her. He called Najib's mom during the Mother's Day, the Raya Eve; even me myself didn't call to say hi. Despite of that, it came to me that maybe she is naturally that way or she is like that AFTER she broke up with Alil. She is such a beautiful girl and I bet any guy would want her as a girlfriend; but irregardless of that, she still kept calling Najib's mom, for a reason that I know much - to still get related to Alil, in any way. Alas, people tend not to realise the diamond among the glasses when they possess that diamond. But when they sell it, then they realise that they did a mistake. People said that don't be regretted on what you had done but rather regret on things that you haven't done. On the other hand, one book that I've read; something on how you should think the otherwise from other people, said that you should not be regretted on things that you haven't done but be regret on things that you had done. I don't quite agree with this since I couldn't find the literal meaning to this. I know that Alil is kind of not having good times with his current girlfriend and that he has been missing Dalila and actually kept comparing her current girlfriend with Dalila. But is past is past. I don't think Dalila would want him back. All she know is that Alil is just another sweet memories in her life. She could get a better person.

One of my bestest friend is most probably going to Ireland for further studies if everything is OK. I would rather spend more time with him rather than selfish people around. He might or might not be able to go to Ireland but all I could say for now is he is my bestest friend. People may say whatever they want to say about me but I would not want to have the feeling of regretness again especially to whom I'm being friend with. All my life has been and always be about MY family, and not anybody else. So posers out there who THINK that they do put family first on their list, think again. Don't say that you understand these kind of people who prioritise their family cos you don't actually understand and stop fooling around and make people realise your true colours before its too late.

I just don't like you this much.